Public Evaluation #1
Overall
7/10
Premise
8/10
Plot
7/10
Character
7/10
Dialogue
6/10
Setting
8/10
Era
1950s, 1960s
Location
Massachusetts, Mississippi, Alabama
Budget
Medium
GenreDrama ,Period Drama, Political Drama
Logline
After graduating high school, a young Smith College student joins up with an activist group to fight for civil rights in the Jim Crow era South and ends up taking part in one of the great protest movements in American history, inspiring her peers and strangers along the way.
Strengths
BLACK PRIVILEGE. WHITE POWER. is a deeply compelling and ambitious period political drama that explores themes of justice, friendship, love, loss and integrity in a period New England (Massachusetts) and American South setting (Alabama, Mississippi). The based on true nature of the script makes the setting necessary to tell the story with authenticity but it also works well on its own merits. Even for viewers unfamiliar with the details of the Freedom Riders or the march on Selma will understand that in that time in the South, acts of tremendous violence were frequently and casually committed against people of color and their allies. POSY and FANNIE LOU as the two leads are each exceptionally sympathetic figures with clear motivation and well defined wants and needs. The audience will naturally root for them along their respective journeys as they each work towards their goals, including Fannie Lou's goal of merely surviving. The action sequences/violence feels grounded, gritty and tragically accurate and should get pulses racing. The ending, while again necessary to tell the tale accurately, still comes off as earned, rewarding and satisfying. The script showcases in great detail the history and legacy of those that have fought for civil rights at a time when the political climate may need similar activists to rise again.
Weaknesses
Character wise, while the aspects of the script that are dedicated to Posy's story are focused on her journey as an activist, it feels like there could be some additional fleshing out of her personal life in that time to give some additional context to who she was and who she becomes. It does well to introduce her in high school and there are some moments peppered in during college, like when she makes plans to see the film before Kennedy's assassination, but it would help to see perhaps some details of the road not taken. From a screenwriting standpoint, there are some scenes where backstory is detailed through the action sections in ways that won't be conveyed on screen. That information may be specifically intended for the director's knowledge but it could be worth finding ways to communicate it either visually or through dialogue. (Ex. Eddy and Tyler Wingate's backstory/history with Tommy Murphy and their brother's relationship with him as a character that doesn't appear on screen.) Eliminating or reworking some of the bulky action could go a long way towards paring down the fairly heavy 153 page count of the script. While not individually significant, typos can become distracting if they accumulate and bear addressing. In this case, the script could truly benefit from a thorough pass/edit to address such issues.
Prospects
Though there may still be some room for improvement, overall there's a lot to like about the prospects of the project in the long term. Tonally and thematically, the script knows what it wants to be, what it wants to say and goes for it in a way that should resonate with fans of political dramas, especially ones based on true events. From a budget perspective, while the period setting does come with some inherent costs and there are a number of crowd scenes, much of the script reads as quite affordable to produce, something that's always ideal when looking to find financing for an independent feature. The core cast is small, the locations are relatively limited and it could likely shoot in a number of cities/states that are currently offering tax incentives and production rebates to the film and television industries. In terms of casting, there are several strong roles that should appeal to actors, most notably Posy and Fannie Lou but Esther and John Lewis and James Reeb as well, among others. Depending on the work done to future drafts of the script, the level of talent attached and the execution by the director there could be a range of potential outlets for the project. It reads as a natural fit for the independent festival circuit and could find distribution from there, if not theatrically then perhaps on Netflix or Amazon.
Pages 153
Published on 11-25-19
Overall
7/10
Premise
8/10
Plot
7/10
Character
7/10
Dialogue
6/10
Setting
8/10
Era
1950s, 1960s
Location
Massachusetts, Mississippi, Alabama
Budget
Medium
GenreDrama ,Period Drama, Political Drama
Logline
After graduating high school, a young Smith College student joins up with an activist group to fight for civil rights in the Jim Crow era South and ends up taking part in one of the great protest movements in American history, inspiring her peers and strangers along the way.
Strengths
BLACK PRIVILEGE. WHITE POWER. is a deeply compelling and ambitious period political drama that explores themes of justice, friendship, love, loss and integrity in a period New England (Massachusetts) and American South setting (Alabama, Mississippi). The based on true nature of the script makes the setting necessary to tell the story with authenticity but it also works well on its own merits. Even for viewers unfamiliar with the details of the Freedom Riders or the march on Selma will understand that in that time in the South, acts of tremendous violence were frequently and casually committed against people of color and their allies. POSY and FANNIE LOU as the two leads are each exceptionally sympathetic figures with clear motivation and well defined wants and needs. The audience will naturally root for them along their respective journeys as they each work towards their goals, including Fannie Lou's goal of merely surviving. The action sequences/violence feels grounded, gritty and tragically accurate and should get pulses racing. The ending, while again necessary to tell the tale accurately, still comes off as earned, rewarding and satisfying. The script showcases in great detail the history and legacy of those that have fought for civil rights at a time when the political climate may need similar activists to rise again.
Weaknesses
Character wise, while the aspects of the script that are dedicated to Posy's story are focused on her journey as an activist, it feels like there could be some additional fleshing out of her personal life in that time to give some additional context to who she was and who she becomes. It does well to introduce her in high school and there are some moments peppered in during college, like when she makes plans to see the film before Kennedy's assassination, but it would help to see perhaps some details of the road not taken. From a screenwriting standpoint, there are some scenes where backstory is detailed through the action sections in ways that won't be conveyed on screen. That information may be specifically intended for the director's knowledge but it could be worth finding ways to communicate it either visually or through dialogue. (Ex. Eddy and Tyler Wingate's backstory/history with Tommy Murphy and their brother's relationship with him as a character that doesn't appear on screen.) Eliminating or reworking some of the bulky action could go a long way towards paring down the fairly heavy 153 page count of the script. While not individually significant, typos can become distracting if they accumulate and bear addressing. In this case, the script could truly benefit from a thorough pass/edit to address such issues.
Prospects
Though there may still be some room for improvement, overall there's a lot to like about the prospects of the project in the long term. Tonally and thematically, the script knows what it wants to be, what it wants to say and goes for it in a way that should resonate with fans of political dramas, especially ones based on true events. From a budget perspective, while the period setting does come with some inherent costs and there are a number of crowd scenes, much of the script reads as quite affordable to produce, something that's always ideal when looking to find financing for an independent feature. The core cast is small, the locations are relatively limited and it could likely shoot in a number of cities/states that are currently offering tax incentives and production rebates to the film and television industries. In terms of casting, there are several strong roles that should appeal to actors, most notably Posy and Fannie Lou but Esther and John Lewis and James Reeb as well, among others. Depending on the work done to future drafts of the script, the level of talent attached and the execution by the director there could be a range of potential outlets for the project. It reads as a natural fit for the independent festival circuit and could find distribution from there, if not theatrically then perhaps on Netflix or Amazon.
Pages 153
Published on 11-25-19
